 | “ A celebrity is a person who works hard all of their life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized. ” ~ Fred Allen
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 “ A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to be well-known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized. ” ~ Fred Allen
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“ Funny: California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange.. ” ~ Fred Allen
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“ Funny: I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sap.. ” ~ Fred Allen
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“ Funny: I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.. ” ~ Fred Allen
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“ Funny: I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back. ” ~ Fred Allen
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“ A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done. ” ~ Fred Allen
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Inspiring Quotes : |
“ A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing, but who, as a group, can meet and decide that nothing can be done. ” ~ Fred Allen
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“ A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized. ” ~ Fred Allen
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“ A gentleman never strikes a lady with his hat on. ” ~ Fred Allen
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“ (A gentleman) is any man who wouldn't hit a woman with his hat on. ” ~ Fred Allen
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“ A conference(committe) is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done. ” ~ Fred Allen
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“ A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary. ” ~ Fred Allen
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“ A group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group decide that nothing can be done. ” ~ Fred Allen
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Inspirational Quotes : |
“ [Television is] the triumph of machine over people. ” ~ Fred Allen
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“ A gentleman is any man who wouldn't hit a woman with his hat on. ” ~ Fred Allen
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“ A new headache tablet would be distributed to the staff and probably be very welcome. In the advertising game (it isn't buisness) a headache is an occupational side effect. ” ~ Fred Allen
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“ An actor's success has the life expectancy of a small boy about to look into a gas tank with a lighted match. ” ~ Fred Allen
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“ A kind of radio which lets people at home see what the studio audience is not laughing at. ” ~ Fred Allen
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“ All I know about humor is that I don't know anything about it. ” ~ Fred Allen
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