 “ Funny: A quick word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said no. ” ~ Woody Allen
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“ Funny: Can we actually know the universe? My God, it's hard enough finding your way around in Chinatown. ” ~ Woody Allen
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“ Funny: How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter? ” ~ Woody Allen
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“ Funny: I am at two with nature. ” ~ Woody Allen
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“ Funny: I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens.. ” ~ Woody Allen
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“ Funny: I don't believe in the after-life, although I am bringing a change of underwear. ” ~ Woody Allen
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“ Funny: I failed to make the chess team because of my height.. ” ~ Woody Allen
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Inspiring Quotes : |
“ Funny: I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got 100. ” ~ Woody Allen
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“ Funny: 'I'm afraid of the dark,and suspicious of the light. ” ~ Woody Allen
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“ Funny: 'I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own. ” ~ Woody Allen
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“ Funny: If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job. ” ~ Woody Allen
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“ Funny: It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat keeps blowing off. ” ~ Woody Allen
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“ Funny: My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers. ” ~ Woody Allen
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“ Funny: My brain? It's my second favorite organ. ” ~ Woody Allen
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Inspirational Quotes : |
“ Funny: My love life is terrible. The last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue of Liberty. ” ~ Woody Allen
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“ Funny: Some guy hit my fender and I said be fruitful and multiply but not in those words. ” ~ Woody Allen
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“ Funny: The universe is merely a fleeting idea in God's mind - a pretty uncomfortable thought, particularly if you've just made a down payment on a house. ” ~ Woody Allen
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“ Funny: There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more. ” ~ Woody Allen
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“ Funny: When I was born my mother was terribly disappointed. Not that she wanted a girl...she wanted a divorce. ” ~ Woody Allen
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“ Funny: When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room. ” ~ Woody Allen
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